I wrote a post about FTI's comeback for Beautiful Journey, but back then i talked about what it felt like to witness my first comeback. You know, last year it was about first times. This year is about confirmations.
Now i have no doubts: if i wasn't a TripleS i would be a Primadonna.
I have been obsessed with everyone in k-pop since i joined the fandom and each and every single one of the idols i came to love at some point during my journey still fill a part of my heart.
You should know my rule by now: if i get obsessed it's because they help me. I fall for the people before the artists. And sure, if the artists are as brilliant and inspiring as the people, then they'll climb a few more steps up my list. Anyway the point is that even if i don't spazz over someone as much as i did when i fell for them, they surely still rest somewhere in my heart. It's always been hard to completely let go of someone for me.
Some of these idols, a smaller circle, are not simply idols but anchors. Those ones who marked a moment of my life by walking me through my bad days.
And then there's an even smaller circle inside this one, a sort of elite that has the memories. Those who bring me back to a specific time and place whenever i see them.
Only two out of my whole bias list belong in this last category: SS501 and F.T. Island.
It doesn't matter if i watched all their shows, or a bunch of performances. It doesn't matter that i've followed them since i knew them and that there's almost nothing i don't know about them. The memory of the first time i saw them will forever be the first thing that leaps to mind.
Seunghyun is still the weirdo lip-syncing to an english song in front of an empty plate, with his cutlery in his hands; Jae Jin is the one in a wardrobe; Minhwan is that kid that can't be still when he laughs; Hong Ki is that freak with orange hair and paper tears stuck onto his cheeks. Jong Hoon...well, Jong Hoon is a flow of memories but i don't think i will ever forget the moment i saw his smile for the first time. He will always remain the stranger with a smile that's not even possible in real life, the carefree boy who really wanted to stick his tongue into Jae Jin's ear. XD
SS501 were my saviors, but FTI were the divide that opened the road for them.
If they didn't show me how entertaining korean people could be, i would have never bothered exploring. And now that SS501 is on hiatus and almost the whole kpop scene is not being particularly impressive to me, now that i need a distraction like i needed it at the beginning, F.T. Island has been the best anchor.
AAA was doing great, but then it got ruined. Not irreversably, but still a little spoiled.
SS501 solo activities are off-limits to international fans. Super Junior phase was useful, but like i said FTI has the memories. Memories that are relevant to what i'm going through.
They remind me of when my friends and i were a team, when my bff was happier, when i felt passioned about something again, when orange hair seemed an absurd invention. That sleepover party my bff and i had a lifetime ago, spent to watch FTI's concert. When i told her to stay in my room and then i played the dvd, she heard 'F.T. Island' and came running to the living room and hugged me.
Give me a video, an event, a show, a quote of FTI and i have a memory. Mostly bff-related, but still a memory of a finally easier unbelievably smooth better time.
FTI makes me miss that, but at the same time they take me back there and i like being there. It helps me believing i've been worse and that even if things get harder now, i've seen a brighter light before and i will see it again.
I might fall out of love with everyone in this world, in kpop, but F.T. Island and SS501 were such a novelty when i met them, that they'll forever be special.
I don't know if my best friends and i will ever break up. I'm not sure of anything these days. No one is giving me the confirmations i constantly need anymore, not counting the cunts who keep confirming their cuntness.
What i know is that k-pop and F.T. Island are among the best gifts my bff has ever given me.
I am happy they're back because my life feels a lonely mess again. They fixed it once. Hopefully they'll do it again.
Love Ya,
Menu ah
Nessun commento:
Posta un commento