SAENGIL CHUKA HAMNIDA, MY KPOP OBSESSION! \o/

I can't believe it's been one year already.

Actually i'm not 501% sure this is the date. Or better, since my true obsession started with SS501 and i've become a TS at the end of November, i'm 501% sure this is not the date.

Yet, i'm almost sure it was the 13th of September when i accepted to hear my first korean song.

My bff said she actually made me listen to a FTI's song in July but i can't remember that, so i'll just use this day because i know what happened exactly one year ago.

I'm not gonna tell you how i became a kpop lover. If you're interested this is the way to find out.

The most impressive thing of my whole passions is...it increases every day more. I guess it's because you fall for people, not simply music or screenplays.

I mean, i do realise South Korea makes me delusional. If i used to believe in Prince Charming like Cinderella, now i dream of So Yi Jeong like Ga Eul; i expect boys, italian boys, to show each other affection without worrying about looking gay or not; i tend to forget the "eonni-dongsaeng" bond here is impossible because a girl is nice to another girl only if she considers her way uglier than her.

This is my reality. XD

IS THIS THE KIND OF REALITY YOU GUYS WANTED???

Oh, no...that was a few months later. Focus, Menu ah! Hwaiting! \o/

In the real world if i dump someone like Yoon Ji Hoo for someone else, he won't go 'I'll still be the only one who can see you even under a mask.' He'll probably just go 'GTFO, SLUT!' XD

No...correction: in the real world if i dump someone like Yoon Ji Hoo i'll just slap myself and jump off my balcony. XD

But nonsense apart...Koreans taught me a lot. Friendship, respect, hard work.

All things i knew that were important, especially friendship. But somehow i feel worse if i forget them now, because the idea of my idols not approving pushes me to work harder and control my negative feelings.

Koreans make me jealous, too.

It may be a huge make-believe but they seem to put family on top of priorities.

A few days ago i read this tweet from Kibum to Hyung Jun saying 'Come home soon, hyung-nim!'

You don't know how many times i've wished to have that sort of bond with my brother. Or better, the bond Kyu&Xander&Thunder have with their sisters.

When i stop to think about it, i realise my brother's worked harder than me and is currently making the best out of his days just with what life's given to him.

Me? I haven't moved much since i graduated. I love my life and who i am and the way my days go by especially now that i'm doing this tutoring thing. I feel useful somehow. But i haven't accomplished much.

Sometimes i wished i could just say 'I honestly think my brother's better than me' like Kibum once confessed, without worrying about all that series of things keeping me from confessing this.

For example, my brother would go 'Yeah, sure' because he honestly believes i don't pay much attention to him.

I do love my brother despite he's a real pain in my neck more than once a day and if i yell at him it's just because i don't think he gets the luck we have. He's been through a lot and i wish all the people who hurt him to regret letting him go at some point in their poor lives.

My brother deserves people by his side because he is a big honey-hearted dumbass but we were raised in a way that doesn't allow us to be siblings korean-style.

But it's still good. Koreans made me think about the relationship my brother&i share and it made me realise how unfair i am to him at times.

About the pure spazzing part of my obsession, during my recent vacation i got the confirmation i just can't stand up anymore without it.

I don't like saying this because my friends may take it in the wrong way, but there are trouble my friends can't fix.

They can stand by my side and distract me, support me, comfort me, prove me our bond should be envy material for the rest of the world and something to thank God every night. They do so and they do that in the best way i could ask.

But some things of me, i'm the only one who can fix them. (I can picture my bff going 'And she says i should share every sad thought w her...' XD) I think it's the same for everyone. We all have our own share of experience that's just ours, that the others don't have and can simply imagine what it feels like being through that.

Because there's always someone luckier than us, someone who got what we've been lacking all along. It's like if i go to a starving kid, pat his back and say 'I know what it feels like.' =.= NO YOU DON'T, MENU AH! Cut the crap!

So when i've felt (rarely) alone in the past 12 months and i've found myself thinking of something that bothered me and my friends weren't there, despite how naive it sounds, idols were there with me. With their endless bright smiles and their humanity other stars have lost along the way.

I guess this makes me sound ungrateful.

I'm not. It doesn't mean i can live without my friends as long as i have kpop. It means i need both. Of course my friends are real and i'll always need them more, but we all have our secret shelter.

Kpop is just mine.

That's it. That's what Korea did for me in one year: teaching me, helping me to reflect and to crawl out of that darkness who stole my 2009. For 12 months i've done nothing but having fun with my dearest ones and with other awesome new people i just can't picture my life without anymore.

Even if i haven't mentioned them so far, i trust them to know they're constantly in my thoughts. Ask my bff. XDD

What these new friends have done for me can be summarized in that one sentence i just typed: i can't picture my life without them anymore.

I can't picture myself in 10 years wondering 'Who knows how *insert your name. Yes. You. The one who's reading* is doing these days?'

I can't picture myself not catching up with your lives even 10 years from now.

Kpop or not, i hope i'll always be Menu ah for someone on this planet.

Day after day, year after year, it shouldn't be hard, right?

Twelve months are gone already and it still feels like yesterday when all i knew about South Korea was Coffee Prince (couldn't close this post without mentioning them XD) and Jong Hoon's stunning smile.

THANKSS!

Really! To all those people, ordinary or famous, near or far, who contribute to let me stay the Menu ah i love being, just by being there for me.

Love Ya is not even enough to describe what i owe you, this time!

But yeah...Love Ya!

Menu ah

[No need to tell you why the pic is Jong Hoon ah, right? :D]

20/05/2010: coMeBLAQ

I wonder..if i had watery eyes at MBLAQ's comeback...what will happen at SS501's comeback?

I'm gonna die, right?

Ok, then i should hurry and post this.

There's not much to say. Not if don't want to be boring after 10 lines.

It happened like this: teaser pics came out and i thought 'OMG! GO without moustache? That's not GO!! Give his moustache back to him!!...And what's that thing on Mir's head?' XD

Then the MV teaser came out and though i don't like teasers i decided to watch it but didn't judge 'cause it was just a teaser.

Y came out but before someone told me the album was leaked i listened to it. Too bad but anyway i liked it.

The MV was censored. Now...Koreans have a weird idea of what's bad. XD It's not like you see blood in the shooting scene. And singing 'I'll chew you up and spit you out' is far from the worst line ever heard. XD

But yet, this is how koreans handle things and i love koreans, so go on. I'm ok with that.

The actual comeback was...i don't even know.

I found a streaming site to watch MNet Countdown. Totally last minute. I barely had time to understand how it worked when the show had already started.

I watched the WHOLE show, constantly thinking 'When the heck are they performing?'

Two girls almost killed each other during 2PM's performance because of the lypsinc issue. LOL

Joon&GO were always there introducing someone. When i finally saw 2PM taking their place i finally breathed and thought 'They must be busy getting ready, right?'

And when i saw them...i wanted to cry. Especially during Mir's rap. He didn't even look like Mir, so serious on stage. XD

And Joon...Joon can't simply keep his shirt closed..or on. XD

It's weird watching a kpop group on stage. No matter how serious and professional they look, you keep remembering all those times when you saw them acting stupid, dorky...or even sentimental, 'cause it's true idols are all crazy but they have huge hearts, too. Somehow you feel like you know them.

It's awesome.

Anyway, they're not my absolute favorite group but they're one of my favorites, so no wonder i was so thrilled about their comeback.

Negative note: i was disappointed by what GO said about Heechul. The 'I thought he was gay and when he tried to meet me i made up excuses' thing.

We tend to think korean idols are golden people and we forget they're humans and make mistakes. I still hope he just temporarily turned off his brain and let those words slip out, thinking he could sound funny. I hope he apologized. I hope someone scolded him. I hope he realized he's not supposed to talk like that to anyone, especially someone older and more experienced than him.

Honestly GO was one of my favorite MBLAQ members. Joon and him were on the same level to me. But this sad episode made him fall one step lower.

Like i said, give him back his moustache 'cause his brain must have got damaged!

GO! Please! Come back to your senses!! *slaps&shakes him*

But yet, their comeback stage will be unforgettable to me, being my first important comeback.

So it deserved a little space on my blog. ^^

Summary of the Early Days

One Better Day

It was September. An undefined day between the 11th and the 20th of September 2009. It had been (there's no other way to say this) the worst year of my life but i was finally enjoying a relaxing, funny, carefree vacation with my bestfriends.

My bestfriend had been a kpop lover for a few months already. It was raining and we didn't feel like going outside though we were on holiday. So she said 'Can i show you a F.T Island's video?' Or maybe i asked her 'Ok, show me a F.T Island's video!' XD (God always bless internet connections everywhere! XD)

I've always been the kind of friend who wants to understand why a friend likes something. So i agreed. The video was a Missing You performance, if you want details.

Nothing much happened in that moment. I simply laughed at the weird language but somewhere inside i already liked the song. I had no idea who they were...No, i stand correct: unconsciously i already knew everything about Hong Ki since my bestfriend had been loving him and only him for months, like i said. But they were just a band in that moment.

Later i'd have watched the "vinegar video" (FTI's Idol Army XD) and would have fallen for..well, a smile. I fell for a smile. XD

It was the most stunning and heartlightening smile ever. And why had i never realised that guy was so handsome? Come on! It was obvious! What's wrong with me? XD

Even later than that i'd have scolded my mom 'cause 'You turned off the radio during a Jong Hoon's solo! You never turn off the radio during FTI's Leader's solos!' I'd have got mad 'cause this dude named Choi Jong Hoon was TOO handsome. It didn't help my already low self-esteem. U_U And Won Bin had left. And SeungHyun (The Usurpeitor XD) didn't deserve any respect 'cause he had taken Won Bin's place. And why does Min Hwan jumps while laughing? And the hell is wrong with Jae Jin's hair? o.O And...ok...fine...I admit i love love love SeungHyun's randomness.

But back to that rainy afternoon F.T Island were just a band.

We came back home after a few days. My asian experience included that song and My Boss, My Hero.

A couple of weeks later my bff went 'YOU ABSOLUTELY MUST WATCH COFFEE PRINCE!!! I WANT YOU TO WATCH THE FIRST EPISODE RIGHT NOW!!!' Again, i agreed and despite it was past midnight and i was sleepy i liked it. It was funny, it was fresh and i liked the plot since it was so different from the american tv-shows i had dedicated my life to until that moment. It was kind of real, despite it told about a girl who pretended to be a boy for an absurd while of time. XD

The following days i kept watching it. I got to the 9th episode and it came totally out of the blue that i couldn't live without that drama anymore.

I remember i couldn't find the 10th episode and i was going crazy. Plus, my bestfriend said we had to watch that episode together but we couldn't see each other for the whole weekend. XD

I went around jumping and singing like Go Eun Chan, i stared at the ceiling thinking of Choi Han Kyul and smiled by myself. And even though i cried until i couldn't breathe anymore while watching the final episode (my dad hiding his laughter when he caught me), Coffee Prince was (and still is) one of the best shows ever produced.

Becoming a Lover

At that point i needed something to distract myself so i followed another bff's tip: 'If you liked Coffee Prince that much, you should try Boys Over Flowers.'

Ok, cool...All i knew was that there were these 4 guys who bullied people around. But i didn't fall for it instantly like with Coffee Prince. It took me a long long time to finish watching it. At first because i wasn't that into the plot, later because every episode made me more worried....and mean...and violent.

Anyway i liked a song. The ending theme. The song that reminded me of the '4 years later scene' at the end of the last episode.

So i downloaded it and obsessed everyone around me with it. I had an abstract image of these S-S 501 (501 wasn't five oh one. Was five hundred and one. Jeez...old old times. XD)

Until one day i was bored. Kim Hyun Joong was the only korean name i could remember so i typed it in YouTube (God always bless YouTube, as well! XD)

I found 4 incredibly stupid videos: "Ji Hoo" staring at an Elmo puppet who laughed like a stupid creature until someone kicked it; "Ji Hoo" on a korean show staring at a fan who couldn't touch him despite she clearly wanted to throw her arms around his neck..making him laugh without any trace of tact in his eyes; Hyunderella; and then "Ji Hoo" laughing (tactless again..even worse than before) at this poor guy who had just ripped his pants in the most embarassing, awkward way.

Life's weird. That guy...well...never mind. There will be the right time to talk about him, too. XD

Actually, when i think about my BOF days i can't believe that the same Yoon Ji Hoo i cursed so many times and so badly would have become one of my favorite korean people ever, one of the funniest ones, just Kim Hyun Joong, the aliens freak, my one and only 4D Leader. I had no idea that HE out of everyone would have bound me to this k-obsession of mine.

December came and we went to the movies to watch Ninja Assassin. On the escalator my bff said 'Seriously, he's Rain! For me it's just like going to the movies to see Hong Ki on the screen!'

I enjoyed the movie. A lot. I knew "Raizo" and "young Raizo" were korean idols but still, Ninja Assassin was just a movie to me.

Yet, this korean feaver kept increasing and brought me, one afternoon, to listen to the WHOLE SS501 (I had finally learned to pronounce it properly) discography.

First MV i found by typing "SS501" was the latest single: Love Like This.

I'd love to post you my 'second by second reactions' but it'd be too long. You just need to know they all looked like posers to me. EXCEPT! Except this...dude...This boy who at some point looked at me and literally made my brain stop working (more than usual) for 10 seconds. All i was able to do was to rewind the video and keep looking at him smiling, and singing, and dancing.

WHO THE HELL WAS THAT GUY??? It was hard to understand that. They all looked the same to me but I HAD TO KNOW!!!

And even while i was searching for him on the web, though i didn't know yet, i was already a TripleS.

And above all, though i didn't realize it immediately, i had spent so much time learning things about them that all my gloominess, my loneliness, my weepy nights...they had just packed and left 'cause in my life there was no room for them anymore.

Getting Jiggy over k-pop

The rest is history.

I remembered i had a Twitter account, which i hadn't used since May. I needed a place where i could pour my obsession, my need to talk about korean things. I couldn't use Facebook 'cause some of my FB friends would have insulted me.

I can't remember if i found her or she found me, but i met this lovely girl whose name was also my surname (i told her 'We're like SS501!! Having the same names!!'). She striked me with her kindness. And she was a TripleS too! That was enough!

Then while i was mourning about not being able to get SS501's 5 Men's 5 Years DVD (since i thought my DVD player couldn't play asian DVDs) another girl appeared and helped me to sort that issue out.

So many others followed. I can't remember when, where, how i met all my super awesome lovely caring funny hardworking TripleS sis, and Shawols, Beauties, A+, VIPs.

They're so many and so awesome i don't wanna risk to forget about someone so i won't name them. If you follow me on Twitter you probably don't need me to tell you about them. If you don't follow me on Twitter, you couldn't understand anyway. XD

At that point SS501 and F.T Island were already a family to me.

In January i witnessed my first kpop debut: F.Cuz. It took me...i don't even know. Probably a month to get Jiggy out of my head. Everytime i thought i had got over it, i found myself singing that damn 'get get getting Jiggy'!!! @.@ And when i heard my bff singing it i shouted 'DON'T YOU DARE!!' XD I mean,it put me in a good mood but i was too obsessed over other stuff already. XD

I finally knew MBLAQ, too. And B2ST. And SHINee (YOOGEUN!!! ;_;). I fell for songs and groups my blessed bff had made me listen to earlier, having me saying 'Nice, but i don't like them!'

And i fell for Big Bang, but i should probably spare this story for another post. I mean, SS501 ARE my early days as a kpopper so i could talk about them here. Big Bang are quite recent. XD

My biases list grew longer and longer: after Jung Min&Jong Hoon came Minho, DongWoon, Mir and other "minor" but worrying crushes too. XD

Ravings started (see the ravings reports for more details XD), i took 3 idols in, i became Saengie's official deflater and now here i am: bored on my couch listening to U-Kiss's Without You realizing i can't imagine my life without kpop anymore.