I want to be Sandara Park

It's so rare to see something non-SS501 related around here, isn't it? I don't even know why. I love basically everyone in kpop, yet my 'Diary of a Kpop Lover' looks more like the 'Diary of a TripleS'.

So, for once i want to surprise you.

I was cleaning my desktop ten minutes ago (being on tumblr means having tons of files spreaded all over your wallpaper, so yeah. I was cleaning my desktop.) I went through my "Dara&2NE1" folder and i realised i've never told you how much i worship Sandara Park.

Recently i've found myself being a proud Blackjack, meaning that through 2NE1's comeback i've come to love CL, Bom, Minzy (AND Dara), not because they're Dara's friends or because it's cool to say you like 2NE1. Just because i love who they are. The way they don't belong into the crowd of cute-acting and pretty-looking female idols.

Honestly, that's what i feel toward female groups. That they're there just to show off their nice bodies.

I don't hate them. I don't say they don't deserve what they've reached. My hands get itchy when i hear Kara calling SS501 'oppa' but i'm not an anti.  I simply don't feel any interest. 

I've given them a shot. I think i've given more shots than some interns, when it comes to kpop. I'm just not made for cute things. And cute girls and I have never really got along well.

That's why i like 2NE1. They're fierce, they're strong, they're confident, talented. They seem to struggle not to be only cute. They give me the feeling they don't care about looking nice. Constantly trying to look a certain way must be exhausting.

They are who they are and if someone dislikes that, they can leave. No grudges, no regrets.

And i love the way they have fun (and make me have fun) while performing.

So yeah, i love 2NE1 because they're different.

But Dara.

Dara is my role model. Dara is everything i wished to be when i was a kid. 

She knows who she is, she knows what she wants, she knows how to stand, she's funny, she's random, she's never boring even when situations require her to be serious. She's gorgeous. Just G-O-R-G-E-O-U-S. She knows what matters to her and in general. And i guess when she's broken ('cause i suppose she's broken, too sometimes) she knows how long she can afford to be in pieces and how to put herself back together.

I don't get how someone can hate her. And that's another reason why i support her: she doesn't give a damn, and if she does she won't give you the satisfaction to let you know.

Awesome is an hackneyed word, used and abused. But it's the perfect word to describe her.

Sandara Park is the woman every woman should be.

When i was 7 and i couldn't wait to grow up i wanted to be everything she is and until i met her i had no idea that imaginary woman in my head wasn't simply the product of my imagination and the effect of too many movies i watched. Finding out that woman in my head had always existed somewhere gave me hope.

But i lack so many things to be like her, i'm afraid.

I consider myself strong, but not as strong as her. I worry about too many pointless things. What i'm good at is to leave them behind quickly.

I'm funny, i think. But not too easygoing. I'm not the girl who asks you out after work to know you better. I'm the girl who will never deny you a smile if you're new in the clique and may be feeling left out, but i won't bother you unless you come to me for help.

I don't have experience. In anything.

And i'm not gorgeous. I'm not even pretty. 

Basically, i'm the girl you may like after you get to know her. While Dara is the girl you can't wait to know.

The female artists i like are basically four (if we consider groups as one person): G.NA, f(x), Son Dambi (more for her personality than music) and 2NE1, of course.

But i just like them.

Like i said, i worship Sandara Park.

For her voice, her face, her music and above all her personality, her style, what she likes and doesn't like. What she fights for. The way she fights for that.

I wish i was at least 1/4 of what she is and i wish i had a sister like her.

When she updates her me2day with her grimaces and randomness my admiration and love for her can just grow more. Because in her shots and words there's all her energy and passion.

Every girl should be a bit like her and if we can't be, then every girl should have a friend like her, ready to kick life's ass when life ruins our mood. And awesome enough to make us believe we're more worthy than we are used to think.