13/06/10: The fanmeeting i didn't attend

This will be a shock for you, but sometimes even my mind happens to get serious.

I had quite a cheerful day, then i came back home and i found news about SS501's fanmeeting. An event i clearly couldn't attend. The kind of thing i'll probably never be able to take part in...'cause, you know, i'm damn european and broke.

Yet, i didn't think i could feel more sorry than how i normally feel for not being able to attend.

I'll never get tired of saying this: after my family, after my friends who bore my paranoia for one year and are still able to consider themselves my friends....these five awesome, humble, funny, silly, hard-working boys helped to put a smile back on this stupid face of mine. The Menu ah you all know...she's always been around, but had taken a break in 2009. If you know her now it's because of Leader, Saengie, Kyu, Jung Min ah and Baby.

So i guess it's normal that when i hear them saying what they said today my eyes just...flood in tears, i get a lump in my throat and i wish i could really walk to South Korea in less than one hour to slap them all and tell them it's me, it's US who thank them every morning. That it shouldn't be the other way round, 'cause they're just living a dream and their dream only brightens our life and teaches us something every minute.

The video of JungMin crying could have been enough. Seeing him crying THAT hard is something i thought i'd have never witnessed. Then Hyung Jun walked alongside and hugged him and Shisus knows what he told him and....and i was completely heartbroken and relieved at the same time.

But no! I wanted to hurt myself even more so what did stupid Menu ah do? Finding a fan report of two girls who actually were at the fanmeeting...and despite every line of the article blinded me with tears more and more i just kept reading and now here i am.

What to expect? It's SS501 we're talking about so there were silly moments mixed to touching ones.

For example when every member was supposed to say something about the others. When Jung Min had to talk about Saengie he said 'I need some time to think about that.'

It would be an awesome clue for raving. Like 'This brat, i hate him for stealing one of my fans away.' But yet, i don't want my sillyness to ruin the moment. And what's more. It's not like i was completely stolen away. XD

Or Baby calling the rest of the group 'blood brothers from the same family'. And Saengie confessing he hadn't realized the importance of the others until he went to Japan by himself and understood they're a group. Period.

And Jung Min who just decided to talk to the rest of the group in private. DAMN! I WANT TO KNOW! After all that crying i want to know!

And Leader: 'Although it’s a clichè, i still wanna say sarang hamnida!' And when TripleS asked him to repeat that, he showed off that 4Dness we all love him for and replied 'I'm not THAT sort of an easy man!!'

And when he apologized fans asked him not to say sorry ever again. (Shisus, i love these girls!!! Spreading the love far away fans can't spread in person.)

And Saengie again who heard a 'Joaheyo', stopped talking and replied 'Uh?' XD

And Kyu! Our kyutest kyute center ever, Kyu! The kindest heart&soul that's ever stepped onto this planet, who had probably been crying from before the beginning.

And Saengie ruining it all by saying 'I originally wanted to wrap up this event in a smiling manner, but you guys are all crying.' *facepalm*

I feel so sorry for not being there in the past 5 years. Not having grown up with them. But one thing is sure: Baby said he feels sorry 'cause a lot of "original" fans probably have adults issues to handle now and can't support them anymore. Not actively, at least.

Well...the hell with adults issues! I'll be damned the day i'll decide something boring like anything adult related could be more important than my 5 life saviors.

I wish there was a way for them to know that they're not just a group to us. They're not just songs in our iPods and a hobby to make days pass. They're a support on bad days, they're the light who brightens our happy days, they're teachers, friends, brothers, dreams to us.

They're so much of an amazing thing i can't even find the words to describe it. Me, the blabbering, raving, cheating, currently crying TripleS who struggles with herself 'cause she can't rate these five guys and never shuts up. I'm speechless when it comes to face the HUMBLENESS of the boys i chose to keep as good luck amulet.

And i don't even want to start talking about what other TripleS mean to me.

I'll just end this with a quote i found on the report. A thought of one of those two lucky girls who i'll never stop thanking for letting me know what really happened on that stage.

"I have always thought i ain’t the type to hold such fanatical thoughts but just this once, just for one time, i wanna be that teeny, weeny bit fanatical and wild.'

You don't know who i was before i became a TripleS. I thought fangirling was something every girl should do in her life but end it before middle school ends. Once again i was wrong. Fangirling (if this is what we wanna call it) is one of the few things who keep me up&steady.

Well...what else can i say? Just that i hope whatever is troubling Jung Min and the rest of the boys will pass soon. And that they'll finally realize we don't care much if albums are delayed, or performances aren't perfect, or that you can't reach every single one of us.

I wish they realize that what really matters to us is that 501 we write down and mention everywhere.

Aish...i'm crying again. Ok...i'll cut it. Next fanmeeting: no reports. Need to remind that.

Bye bye!!

[Btw, the report i mentioned is here.]