Menu's 2011 K-Pop Chart

In case you didn't read my other two charts, i only count the songs i really got obsessed with. It's hard enough this way. XD
Also, since i made a mid-year chart this year i left some of the comments i wrote in June, unless of course i changed my mind.

60. Please - Kim Hyun Joong (it's in the chart because it's Leader but i really can't find this song appealing)
59. Cry - MBLAQ 
58. Stay - MBLAQ (Idk why, as much as i like them, they're always on bottom of my chart)
57. Heaven - Kim Hyung Jun 
56. Oh! Ah! - Kim Hyung Jun (Pretty catchy with an awesome choreo.)
55. Love Song - Big Bang (It's not a secret i didn't like Big Bang's new album, but the repackaged edition or whatever we wanna call it had non-electronic songs that were actually pretty awesome.)
54. Only Learned the Bad Things - B1A4
53. Forever - Park Bo Ram
52. Hello Hello - F.T. Island
51. I must confess - F.T. Island (Written and composed by Jong Hoon. If you read the lyrics you'll realize it's the perfect song to be dedicated to a fandom. Because it's true no matter what idols do, when they feel apologetic we never blame them.)
50. Girls - Kim Hyung Jun (Though TripleS know this song since last year, it was officially released before Baby's comeback so i put it in the chart.)
49. Let It Go - Heo Young Saeng (Park Ju Ju, happy new year! :D)
48. Dreaming - Kim Soo Hyun (Kim Soo Hyun is Sam Dong bb. XD)
47. Black and White - G.Na
46. Lucky Guy - Kim Hyun Joong
45. Freeze - Bitwost (I don't care if you believe Simon invented the Bitwost thing. I've been calling them like that since Shock days. My iPod doesn't know B2ST, but knows "BiTWOst xD" and same goes for my folder of pics. Btw, what's batoost? It's Bitwost for a reason. Because it's B-2-ST. And i understand Simon says B-twost which sounds like batoost, but objectively batoost means nothing. Stop ruining my inventions, dammit.)
44. Break Down - Kim Hyun Joong
43. Here I Am - ZE:A
42. You and I - Boyfriend
41. I'm Broken - Heo Young Saeng (Let It Go had to grow on me, but I'm Broken was an immediate love so it comes first. Also, it was my blog background music for months and months.)
40. Don't touch my girl - Boyfriend
39. Sunshine Girl - F.T. Island
38. Do You Like That - Kim Hyun Joong
37. OK - B1A4 (Bilasa. Read "Bitwost".)
36. Beautiful Target - B1A4
35. Bling Girl - B1A4
34. Boyfriend - Boyfriend (Omg every time i hear this word i'm all 'Boyfrieeeend ah ah ah, nanana boyfrieeeeend'...and whatever comes next 'cause i don't know the lyrics.)
33. Though I Call - Bitwost
32. Do You Know? - Park Jung Min
31. Halo - Block B
30. Lonely - 2NE1
29. Hands Up - 2PM
28. F(x) - Pinocchio (i didn't even like it when it came out)
27. Mona Lisa - MBLAQ (finally they're not on bottom. ><)
26. Paradise - Infinite (Yogi isseo teo teo *.*)
25. Be Mine - Infinite (Oh summer *.*)
24. Fiction - Bitwost
23. Why - DBSK (This song is special 'cause it made me consider DBSK. Before this, probably because of the bad relationship i've historically had with Cassies, i've never really got into DBSK. Then i met some fans who are actually normal people and i found a connection with Changmin and so on. Btw, a lot complained 'cause Why is weird. Well, that's exactly why i like it. Without originality the world would get a copy of itself. You're not thinking 4th dimensionally.)
22. Shy Boy - Secret (judge me all you want. Idec. I would even place it higher if it wasn't because Infinite is my 2011. XD)
21. Before the Dawn - Infinite (Though i still don't know their names, i've liked their songs since their debut up until now. No exceptions. <- Keeping this comment because it was another life. XD)
20. Golden Lady - Lim Jeong Hee (Golden Lady is a brand of stockings here....)
19. White Love - Seungri (Again, despite me not liking his album, this song was the very one i loved and it turned into such an obsession that made up for the rest of the record. I listen to it now and i still love it like the first time.)
18. If the night ends - Kim Hyung Jun
17. Like Birds - FTI
16. Dream High - IU, Eunjung, Suzy, Taecyeon, Wooyoung&Kim Soo Hyun (It still gives me the memories and the atmosphere of the drama. Just unforgettable.)
15. Tell your friends - Block B
14. What is right - Big Bang
13. 0330 - U-Kiss (If it didn't hold the bad memories of the pre-comeback, it would be even more amazing.)
12. Someday - U-Kiss (the lyrics give it a few more points)
11. Mr Simple - SuJu
10. Walkin' - SuJu
09. Good Day - IU (this high because i liked it for months without even knowing whose this was) 
08. Even your tears - FTI
07. That person in Shinsadong - FTI
06. Nothing's Over - Infinite 
05. Can You Smile? - Infinite (it could be a tie with FTI but FTI's songs are not actually FTI's so Infinite is a step higher....Look, i have to give myself reasons or i won't ever get out of here.)
04. Not Alone - Park Jung Min (I wrote a long ass post about how this song can be relevant to so many people. Only 3 people read that. I'm disappointed. But anyway, it really is a sort of social human song and it helped me a lot. And i love that it did for me what its singer did one year before, just the same way. I'm sorry it didn't win anything, but hopefully it will be recognized at the end of the year. Or it will just be another Love Ya. Anyway i'm proud this song comes from my ultimate bias.)
03. Ugly - 2NE1 (like i said a few days ago, no song gives me the energy this song gives me. No matter how down i felt, i found strength in this sound.)
02. Fly So High - U-Cube
01. Superman - SuJu (I don't need to explain, right? Well, if i do let me know. Shortly: the lyrics, the sound, the moment when it came out, the choreo.)

BEST BALLAD

1. That person in Shinsadong - FTI

2. Infinite - Amazing (can it be considered a ballad?)

3. 0330 - U-Kiss

BEST RAP

1. Fiction - Bitwost (Junhyung. You need to stop saying he's a copycat. If you can't grasp the personality this guy puts into his rapping then get out of here. We don't need you.)

2. Dream High - Taecyeon 

3. Let It Go - Heo Young Saeng (Hyuna/Park Ju Hyun. Park Ju Ju is pretty good at rapping too, apparently. And i feel like this song wouldn't have the same feeling without this rap.)

3*. Nothing's Over - Dongwoo&Hoya (* means it's a tie. Or if you prefer, first and second half of the year's best rap.)

BEST COMEBACK

1. Park Jung Min

2. SuJu (It was a crossroad for them and they marked it.)

3. Big Bang (It was history and i'm glad i was there because for a moment i felt like a VIP again.)

BEST CONCEPT

1. Infinite (Paradise, if i have to pick one)

2. Park Jung Min

3. B1A4 (Because i mean, come on. Beautiful Target live stages were the best. XD)

BEST MV

1. Not Alone - Park Jung Min 

2. Infinite - Paradise (I know it was actually criticized but it's one of the few videos i actually got immediately. I can't explain how. I just figured it out.)

3. Fiction - Bitwost

BEST OST

1. Dream High

2. If the night ends - Kim Hyung Jun (Lie To Me)

3. Forever - Park Bo Ram (49 Days)

BEST ALBUM

1. Infinite, Over the Top/Paradise (i wanted to put Amazing and Sunggyu's solo and the bonus track in the chart, then i realized i even bought the actual album because i told myself i've never liked a kpop album as completely as this one...)

2. Bitwost, Fiction&Fact

3. F.T. Island, Memory in F.T. Island

BEST CHOREO

1. Paradise (it made me love the song a thousand times more)

2. Fiction (unforgettable Penguin Dance)

3. Break Down (though the idea of Leader's thoughts when he first saw that is hilarious XD)


BEST ROOKIES
1. Block B
2. B1A4
3. Boyfriend
(These are more like my favorite. Then there are a couple of groups who are objectively a little better but since i haven't "studied" them properly yet i didn't find it appropriate to list them.)

WTF MOMENTS

1. Xander and Kibum leaving U-Kiss, it came completely out of the blue and the reactions upset me. I found pretty fake the fact people could forget so easily and above all forced people to move on. I'm glad things are quieter now, but despite i'm starting to really and honestly appreciate Hoon and AJ, when i see U-Kiss i still see a hole. And i wonder if that hole will ever disappear.

2. Hyun Joong saying SS501's comeback might be impossible. And i'm not gonna say anything else. Mostly because it's past and also because my fandom is not so peaceful about it yet.

3. GD being accused of smoking weed. Not because i didn't expect it, but because i have my ideas about drugs, whether they're light or not. And i remember i was so so so disappointed back then...Well, you all know. I refused to talk about him for weeks. XD

BEST MOMENTS

1. infinite's first win

2. Big Bang's EMA

3.  I don't have a third one that matches so i'm just gonna say 20110901 because for good or ill it's a day that holds my whole year for reasons this post is not meant to explain.

And another productive fangirling year is behind us. See you in six months, i bet. :D As usual, thanks for reading. 

I guess this is SS501's 2011 issue

This is so confusing i'm confused myself

I've been writing a lot about this mess but the more i read comments the more i get confused, to the point i can't even define my position anymore.

But i think i can confidently give 3 branches of thoughts:

BRANCH #1 - The negative branch

To make it short, i'm mad.

BRANCH #2 - The guilty branch

Because i feel guilty for being so stubborn.

BRANCH #3 - The disappointed branch.

Because the rest of the fandom is being a tiny little bit hypocritical and that lets me down.

Assuming Hyun Joong actually meant what we think he meant.

How are you not mad? Teach me.

Because i've turned his statements upside down like a bride's bedroom on her wedding day, like a rubik cube that refuses to be solved. And the only feeling i can find is disappointment.

I've always thought i'd be devastated to find out SS501 would not come back. But no. I don't even care about the future atm. If they come out and clarify i will still be believing because it's their words that make me believe, but alas it's their words that let me down. Words can do that too. It's too easy to forgive everything, based on old good deeds. If you do something wrong, that remains wrong.

But anyway I don't care about the future, i care about the present and what those words caused.

If i try reading between the lines, all i can read is that he's been reckless and no matter what you say, i've always known a comeback from different companies would be hard, but the fact he promised there was gonna be one nevertheless, made me assume he knew there was a way to overcome the difficulties.

How are you not mad when really all i can see in his statement is that he's given up? Even if he later found out those ways to overcome the difficulties are not realistic. How can you accept that kind of reaction from him?

He didn't say 'We won't come back this year or maybe even next year, but i'm confident a moment will come when we can be SS501 again.' He said 'I've been reassuring fans but it's time to be honest, a comeback won't happen and i've planned my next two years already because there's nothing i can do.'

How can you just see the honesty and forget the meaning of that statement?

How can you let him get away with the fact he might stop trying if he hasn't already?

How? If having second thoughts until last week was like kicking yourself out of the fandom? How do you forgive him for having second thoughts?

I feel crazy, like my brain doesn't work anymore because i seem to be the only one who sees that. But i swear, i've tried to see a bright side of this, i've tried giving him the benefit of the doubt. Do you think i wouldn't excuse him if i could find a way to do that?

When he left the company one would authomatically think he'd given up, but because he explained he had a plan i didn't lose faith. Now he's not reassuring us though. So how can you not be at least a bit disappointed?

If you know me you should know i've tried finding justifications. Because if you know me you should know i owe SS501 my life and my happiness and i am really not one of those crazy fans who hate on a principle. But i do believe you don't always agree with idols and according to how big the disagreement is, that idol can lose points.

How can you not be mad if i'm here struggling to decide how far Hyun Joong is to lose my respect as a leader?

I don't think it's fair to be so understanding over certain matters.

The whole fandom is founded on his promise. Jesus Christ. God. Let's face it. And just like GD, i don't want him to believe he can have all the support he could get no matter what he does. He gets the respect he gets because of the person he is and you judge the person he is by his actions, especially because you don't know him in real life. If his actions let me down, why can't i be mad? Why can't i say it and keep my place in the fandom?

But if thinking this makes me a bad TripleS then i guess i'm not a good TripleS but it doesn't even matter because if he really meant what he said i wouldn't be able to look up to him the way i've done until yesterday and if that principle falls, then it's only fair i call myself out.

It's different from not supporting, though. I don't wish him bad things at all. But the reason why i believe in this group and this fandom so much would fall, therefore i wouldn't even be able to feel what i've been feeling toward them.

You know, a fandom is allowed to be mad. It makes me mad you refuse to be. It seems unreasonable to me. And i know from your point of view i make you mad for wanting you to be mad and you fairly assume i'm not a fan at all if i want you to be mad.

But really, i wish you were doing something instead of giving him nonexistant excuses. And if an excuse exists then show me.

But let it be a reasonable excuse, not "you have to believe" because i've believed him for two years, through everything.

That's why i'm so mad. Because the fact the world is constantly picking on him isn't enough to make me shut up and look ahead like i've always done. Because the fact the world is constantly picking on him was a good reason in the past, but right now he's the only one who can be blamed (still assuming that wasn't a mistranslation but idk, considering no correction's been published i'm starting losing hope this is all a mistake).

Believe me, if i could find anyone else to point my finger at, i would do it right away. Because most of the time issues of this kind come from bored haters. And you think i wouldn't take that into account before blaming someone i respect so much?

I'm sorry, i looked to the right and left and up and down but i could only see Hyun Joong. And believe it or not, that's not a nice feeling for me.

Seeing him on my posters or in gifs of his new MV and having an annoying woodpecker in my brain insisting he might not be the one i thought he was.

Or that he's changed. People can change, right? That's allowed. And if people change, the reason why you respect them changes too. If you love a friend that makes you laugh and he becomes boring you don't like him anymore, right? That's allowed.

Well, let's say he's changed then. 

That's frustrating, because SS501 has been my anchor and not seeing in them what made me wrap myself around them kills me but it's one of those things you can't fix. You can't force yourself to love something that's not made for you, even if you've loved it before. But i've loved them too much to just give up like that so i'm simply disappointed and waiting for an explanation that will make me laugh at myself for the thoughts i'm having now.

Believe it or not.

And it kills me the idea that when this issue will hopefully be explained you will distrust me because i am not willing to forgive him unless he explains himself now. I hate knowing my words in this moment will mark my "TripleS reputation" forever and might even delete everything i've said and done since i joined the fandom, despite i've defended him and them in every way i could.

I'm sorry i'm disappointing you, but i guess that makes us even.

You and me and him.

About City Hunter

What i don't like about this drama?
What is there not to like about this drama?
This year i've written a few reviews and i feel like i had the same thought about each show i commented here. Well, it is true things like Secret Garden or 49 Days were seriously good for different reasons, but pretending City Hunter can't compare would be an unfair lie. So excuse me while i am repetitive.


City Hunter is perfect from every single point of view.
The intricate plot, the unfaltering suspence, the many characters in the round, the consistency, the emotions, the message and the relevance to nowadays.


It often happens to see great dramas losing points as the end approaches because secondary characters are left behind or lose importance for no reason, as if writers and producers put them there to raise the numbers and gave them some action to justify their presence, but forgot about them because there wasn't really the need for them to be there.
This doesn't happen in City Hunter. Everyone is there for a specific cause, whether that's made clear from the start or later in the game. Nobody fades away either.
There is no stereotype in their personality. Nobody's completely good or evil, not even Jin Pyo who in the end leaves us a tiny, easily unnoticed sparkle of what is a long buried good heart. 
Yun Sung is against his father's bloody plan but gives in to personal involvement, just like Bae Sik Joong has a secret and Young Joo's choice between law and family isn't as easy as his ethics would want it to be.
Everyone has flaws and ghosts. This makes everything more real.


When i mention 'a relevance to nowadays' i mean it in a way that might me too personal for you to understand. But i live in a country where politicians are politicians for the sake of the money they get. I am absolutely positive nobody down in Rome is there because of a honest steady care toward this country.
God knows how much we could use a City Hunter here. And i know, luckily or not, we are not the only ones.


But apart from this digression, the emotions every single second delivers are as coherent as the characters of the story.
It's a constant growth, that breaks in several climaxes and makes you expect to stop and withdraw, but it just keeps increasing until you literally, phisically feel stuffed.
That's what i felt, at least.


And then what's left to say? Lee Min Ho was terrific. I love the completeness of this adjective.
The chemistry between Min Ho and Min Young was palpable...Well, no wonder. They are real. But i have to say there was a good complicity between other couples, as well: Yun Sung and Young Joo, Young Joo and Sae Hee, Na Na and Sae Hee, Yun Sung and Ahjussi (no point in calling him differently).
I've heard better soundtracks than this one, but the melodies were just so motivating.


Do you want one negative point? The last two minutes. Just because after the solidity of the previous 20 episodes and the unbearableness of the close, i was expecting a denouement, an epilogue that matched. While i found the last three scenes a bit bland. I wouldn't say the ending is not satisfying though. Just too calm.


That's it. It's a very technical review, this one. Maybe because i couldn't really see myself in anyone and of course in the events either, therefore i couldn't feel much more than simple incomparable tension.
But this is just another amazing detail of the product, i guess: it's distant, yet emotionally filling.


Though i feel the need to dedicate myself to something lighter for a while now, i know i miss it already. 


Love Ya,
Menu ah

See you soon, Kim Heechul

I'm not writing because he's enlisting and because i wanna show off. I'm writing because his enlistment is one of those events that make you think about many things connected to that person and since i haven't been an official Elf for long i haven't had the occasion or the time to express why i chose to be a Petal.


As far as i can remember, since i knew k-pop i've known Super Junior. The largest group in the business, with one of the largest fandoms and an amount of struggles and achievements proportionate to the number of members.
I've known Leeteuk because he's the leader, i've known Shindong for being "the big idol", i've know Eunhyuk because he coincidentally appeared on several shows i watched and i've known Siwon, simply because his smile impressed me in a video my bff showed me.
I knew nothing about the other ten splendid men i love to bits now, but i knew Heenim, too.
Who doesn't, right? One way or another, anyone's kpop experience crosses Heechul's path.
I knew him as a self-confident, mean, cold, maybe a bit narcissist boy. I've never hated him, as i've always found his attitude either entertaining or inspiring, but i didn't know the image i had of him was just the tip of the iceberg.
I got into Super Junior last May, mostly thanks to Tumblr and Brianna (Holyshisus/Bridictator), who's like the purest strongest Petal and Elf in general i've ever seen, and through her i saw the humanity and breakableness of Heechul.
I learned that under the "Heenim shell" there's a heart made of mind-bothering doubts and a clear strong care for others.
That's where a part of my heart ordered a 'Kim Heechul' plaque and stuck it on itself and decided to never take it off.
That's when i felt for the first time honest affection for him.
Because rather than the unfaltering person he made me aim to be, i found that we're already alike in so many ways. And though i say the same thing about many other idols, this is different: i usually say an idol and i are alike because of the things they do, or the level of irony their statements reach, their randomness, a specific action i have done at some point in my life too, like a superficial similarity.
Heechul and I share a way of thinking, though. A way of feeling.
He openly admitted friendship comes before love to him, but he's constantly focused on the detail he doesn't have a lover; he expects from others as much honesty as he gives to everyone; he acts arrogant and bossy, when on the inside he's not really.
That is a pretty accurate picture of who i am, too: wanting to be there for my friends, the real ones, those who deserve to get back from me the love i got from them; having those moments when i look around and see myself alone before remembering i have those friends who have always been enough and why wouldn't they be anymore? Talking about myself more than necessary, being possessive and distant sometimes, just to hide and fight the fear to be left out or behind.
Once i wrote "Heechul's mind fascinates me and saddens me", because as much as we're alike he is still better than me and i know how much it can hurt having a mind of this kind, so i want him to be happy, always, especially when he says things that make me wonder if he's okay. I don't want him to feel burdened for being the way he is, because he always gives his everything to others (like Siwon said) and others should just give their everything to him. And despite he'll tell you to get out when you make him feel unworthy, he will actually wonder if he could have done better after all. Even though he might have done his best already.


Kim Heechul is a complicated tricky delicate character who i haven't been able to spend enough time with. And he happens to be the first idol i see enlisting, the first one i deeply care about.
I know it's only a figurative leave. He's never really been in my life and whenever i miss him i can always go on YouTube and watch old videos until he comes back. But if you're a fan, not necessarily a Petal or an Elf, you probably understand the company a bias is and you hopefully understand that's the part i'm gonna miss.
I don't know how this experience is gonna affect him, but i know (and i wish there was a way for him to know as well) that plaque with his name my heart holds dearly is gonna miss his voice, his mischievous smile, his randomness and his striking rationality every single day, like you miss a brother or a friend who moved to another country for a span of time that seems unbearable to go through now that's not even begun.
And i wish that whenever he has a bad day from now until his dischargement, or whenever he wonders if people have forgotten about him already...i wish he knew of all the people i know, who are willing to wait for him until the end of time because there is one only Kim Heechul and for good or ill only idiots would let him go after knowing him.
I don't know if he, like me, sometimes wonders if he's the only one having certain thoughts, but if he does i wish he knew there's at least one person here who understands, because he made me feel less lonely in my mess and i should just pay him back.


Heechul ssi, i don't know if you realize what an amazing person we see behind that rock mask you wear, but you are more loved than you'd probably admit (or less than you'd admit to want to be loved) and please believe you'll always be.
You've given me everything but regrets, if not the one to have wasted so much time not knowing you.
And yes, we will miss you, but like many times before we'll get through this together.


See you soon, Heenim!!
Hwaiting!





Love Ya, 
Menu ah

Special post for a special person on a special day

Lame repetitive entry on the way. \o/


So, why the 24th of July?
Since i've got a few new friends this year and not all of them know the details about my roleplaying, just know that Saengie and i got married exactly one year ago.
In fiction, of course.
But i've come to realise it's not just been one year with a fake husband. It's been one year with my bias.
Though the 2nd of March is actually the date when my roleplaying started, it's been for Love Ya that it became a habit.
Before SS501's comeback my roleplaying consisted of raving conversations with my TSis. Only in June it became my thing and it developed some sort of rules.
Of course i can't pick a day where i fell in love with my brat, because it's been gradual and is honestly still in progress. Therefore i choose today because it's been an anticipated planned (especially planned) day last year and will forever remain special.
Writing in this terms about something that never happened is what we call delusional, right? I know, but i assure you i only do it for fun.
There is a part of me who daydreams of a life with her bias, because i believe that's normal, but i still got this under control.
The thing is, differently from any other idol (including Jung Min, alas) and despite being a one-sided relationship, Saengie and i have developed like two real friends do.
He was the snobby-looking poser i could have never liked; he became the shy cute member of a group i couldn't not love entirely; that fake roommate i couldn't give a voice to because i didn't know him enough. And then when i decided to make up a version of him that could have been entertaining he showed me little by little that i knew him without having any idea.
At that point i got myself involved little by little, too, until one day i realized he was like family. I think it was when i got sick and i honestly wished he (or someone like him) was there to keep me company and distract me.
He wasn't only a character in my story or that one member in a group that i loved. He was my "bias". Though really, bias is not even slightly a good enough word.
Young Saeng is my shelter, my guardian angel among my guardian angels, my fake but powerful remedy for loneliness and tiredness, my worry, my pain, a source of an infinite queue of positive feelings, my ambition, my hope, my dream and my counterpart from so many points of view.
He will never not be special. 
I like having my own special way to treat him, despite that might look anti-fan-like to someone who doesn't know where i come from.
And i always say i can't wait for him to be a dad or to find the love of his life, though to be honest when i read he might have dated Park Ju Ju my heart skipped a beat.
It's probably normal, but it affected me more than i thought it would and it scared me because i truly want him to be happy and i know he could make one lucky woman happy himself. But the moment he does, my story ends and my bubble pop, so i guess i'm somehow afraid i won't have another strong shelter after him. It's like i'm scared i won't love him the same way and i don't want to be one of those fans who change their mind about their bias just because they have a life.
I do love calling Park Ju Hyun Park Ju Ju though. At some point while i was reading that article i realized if she really was his one i would be okay because Park Ju Ju and i have...bonded already. XD
So, see? I'm into him completely and 501% positively.


He's made this year special and hopefully he'll be as diligent in the next 12 months, too. 
As for now, don't tell him but he's been the best partner i could have asked for.
I just wanted to give him a special mention without teasing him or pulling his hair. It's something that could only happen today or in November.


Chuka hae!!, Saengie ah. \o/


Love ya
Menu ah

One Year with SS501 - 12 months worth living

Where were we last year? Pretty much here...

That 5 Men's 5 Years that was so perfect from any point of view.


It's been 5 years since our debut. 1/5 of my life. It can either be a short or long time. In these five years you've constantly supported us from where you are. Thank you. Really. - HJL


But their 5th anniversary wasn't the only reason for us to party. \o/

They were in the middle of their promotions for Love Ya.
Love Ya was my first comeback. And It feels like a first kiss. I can't forget the exact feeling i felt on that day.
Anyway, here's a pic that will make you all go crey crey, since we all miss them together. Too bad Jung Min is crippled.

And third highlighto from Love Ya days

I know we were all proud mommies..well, nunas...or dongsaengs in that moment.


Now i suggest you to grab a tissue or something that can work as a tissue, because you know what comes after Love Ya. That bloody X-Concert.
You know, i was rewatching some videos to organize this spam last night. I cried yesterday just like last year.

What makes this 6th anniversary special is that the sadness&drama from last summer feels unbelievable right now. 'Cause all is just ok. ;_; But back then...well...


A lot of fans think we are giving them something to fill in their life but honestly, we are the ones getting something from our fans. - Jung Min


Even if some change their heart or get married&cannot support us all the way, we'll still sing for who supports us in their mind. - Kyu


We'll continue to run forward so don’t you ever cheat on us. You can still have boyfriends though. - Kyu
(Historical cuteness, this quote.)


We all shed tears today, not because it’s a sad day but because it’s a new take off. Therefore I want you all to be happy and smiling. - HJL


It’s a new beginning for us and I know you'll worry about fake rumors or abusive comments in the future. But don’t worry and just trust us, because we are SS501. - HJL


Ok, i'm done with X-Concert. Now let's all calm down, wipe our tears, kiss a picture of our bias, smile at the other 4, breathe and move on.


After that fanmeeting we all sensed something was wrong. And indeed the news came: Kim Hyun Joong leaves DSP.
And we were all 'wth is going on?' o.O
It was such an awful moment, because nobody said anything....*waves at DSP* And then Young Saeng came and wrote that post about their Wings of the World performance. Which didn't help at all, despite how touching it was.
Half-confirmed rumors have it that DSP didn't want to sign with Kyu anymore and Leader left to protect him, because without one of them there is no SS501. It's easy for us to imagine this as the truth.
We missed a good share of fellow TripleS during those weeks because someone chose not to believe. But then again, we had an year full of fun.


Anyway, we didn't hear a word from anyone until Jung Min and HJB announced their new contracts. But the situation was cooling down at that point.
One of the first things they both said was they signed as SS501's Park Jung Min and SS501's Kim Hyung Jun.


A while after that, it was our Baby's birthday. \o/
First SS gathering after the end of the contract. HJL couldn't attend because of his schedule. But Kyu, Saengie and HJB's beloved counterpart were there. \o/ More tears on that day.
We got our couple moments back: the cuteness...

...and the endless unfaltering love...

Just imagining what they might have felt on that day makes me cry like a baby.


And then the summer bloody summer ended and we got the final news we were all waiting for.

Surprising, uh? XD And that way we finally knew more clearly what the future of our boys was gonna be.


Winter went by like this:


Playful Kiss

Kyusaeng's tour

Saengie's new love

Meanwhile our wait was almost over and we were about to get the first solo comeback, but Korea was shaken by a political/human crisis, so Jung Min and his mature brains and his sensitive heart decided to postpone Not Alone. I think we all gladly waited, though.
That stormy 2010 came to an end and this is how our 2011 started

A song that touched our hearts and made us cry and literally feel not alone anymore.
Btw, can we all spend a minute remembering the guy in Jung Min's teaser, wearing those amazing "cussing" sunglasses??? XDD
Ok, sorry for ruining the moment. Let me go back on the right tracks...
We also found out our strong pillar almost collapsed along the way. More or less worried one might have been, knowing about Jung Min's suicidal thoughts was shocking for everyone.


After SS501 activities' end, i was really hurt. I worried for a long time. It was emotionally very painful. I even thought of giving up. - Jung Min


Personal note: i still believe he never really tried to "give up". But anyway the fact he didn't do that despite how hard it might have been, makes me admire him even more. \o/


A short while after Jung Min ended his promotions, came Baby's moment.

He came back with a song and album that totally suit his personality. *Girls girls girls*


And so it happened that through the first two months of the new year, Tom and Jerry were the ones keeping our faith alive: at Jung Min's showcase, when Hyung Jun surprised Jung Min...

(JM's reaction to HJB's kiss is better than the kiss itself.)


And at Hyung Jun's showcase, when Jung Min repayed the favor...

While HJB invited everyone on Music High we expected Saengie's comeback. Since February, actually. XD I guess cool people are always late. But alas, he even broke his hand.
TripleS have been trained for postponed albums anyway, so we were fine. \o/
And after a couple more weeks, in the end our Shy Prince made his dream come true *i wanna be a baaaad booooy* and came back, too.

Btw, in case someone didn't notice...Young Saeng is back.

Jokes apart, he pulled that concept off way too well. \o/ I guess he really can be a bad boy. It's just us who refuse to accept it.


Meanwhile Kyu, being into hiding since New Year's Day, finally picked his new anticipated acting role.

Too bad Goong is a musical and overseas Pretties can't see it. Let's pray for a dvd. XD

We finally get to nowadays, when the missing member, the missed Leader, our favorite hardworking man found his way back to us again. \o/
Looking younger, happier, improved, more leader-ish than ever.

I started looking back while I was working on the album. I realized how important the meaning of ‘together’ is. - HJL


In the past year i've seen many fans fighting. I didn't say a word and only watched, feeling like I'm actually a helpless person. - HJL
Antis made our Leader cry. Well, actually even some old fans did. Aish...-.-


I hope when everyone listens to my album they'll feel blessed. From today onward, everyone shall smile more and feel more blessed. - HJL


This isn't only my album, but everyone's album. Today i want to tell everyone from the bottom of my heart thank you. I love you all. - HJL


Leader does know how to make us emotional. ;_;


Last unforgettable moment at his showcase: the return of Hyunsaeng. \o/
After one year of Tom and Jerry and Kyusaeng all over the place...

(To those who said Kim Hyun Joong only thought about his interests and didn't care about his group.)


And this is how, through excitement, pride, tears, faith, laughter, smiles, we spent one more year with these amazing men. ;_; For someone it was the first year, for someone it was just an year that's been more memorable than others.
The last words we got from them on their anniversary made me feel like they never really separated. Not even on paper. They still cherish their past together, treat the present like a gift that will benefit all the five of them and especially look forward to the future, when they'll reunite like they promised they will do.


Since we’ve achieved our dreams, let’s strengthen up! SS501! Let no one forget the meaning of our name! - Young Saeng


June 8th 2005, and today. I hope that we’re met with good things and continue to love and support each other. - HJB


It feels like we were crying only yesterday and now we’re already here. Thank you so much! Really, thank you. - Kyu


Well, what's left to say? I'm proud of the part of this fandom who didn't leave and i feel sorry for the rest, who missed so much awesomeness.
We still don't know when and where and how SS501 will come back, but we know they will. And we also know that's all we need to stick around.
So, TripleS. Let's pray in my next year recap we'll get to say that our boys came back to us as 5-0-1 again. Because that is who they are.

Because they've been supporting each other since the day they went their separate ways, as if nothing bad happened and as if the hardships only made them stronger, individually and as a group.

Because we've been seeing hints of their unbreakableness throughout these 12 months, catching old choreographies in their new singles or reading their tweets to each other. Or actually seeing them together these days.

The affinity that’s fated to be forever in my life. The five brothers in SS501. Hyun Joong, Young Saeng, Kyu Jong, Jung Min, and…me! - HJB, My Girl Thanks to

Though we are all dispersed around now…I’ll keep watching over SS501. - Jung Min, Not Alone Thanks to

SS501 members..Hyun Joong…Kyu Jong..Jung Min..Hyung Jun… I can’t leave you out of my Thanks to. - Young Saeng, Let It Go Thanks to

It's been a full year. Full of emotions, worries and happiness. 2011 SS501 has been a nice, serene, strengthening memory that only helped my love growing deeper and steadier.

I would regret it if i missed it and i honestly feel bad for those who didn't get to live these 12 months. Whether you'll come back or not, when they'll keep that promise you ignored, living what we've lived side by side with the five of them is something you'll never have the chance to retrieve.

I am proud to be here writing this and feeling this today. Because i know TripleS' presence is everything SS501 needs, always and forever, you know. And i gave my presence and support to them in every way i could.

Love Ya,

Menu ah