Lame repetitive entry on the way. \o/
So, why the 24th of July?
Since i've got a few new friends this year and not all of them know the details about my roleplaying, just know that Saengie and i got married exactly one year ago.
In fiction, of course.
But i've come to realise it's not just been one year with a fake husband. It's been one year with my bias.
Though the 2nd of March is actually the date when my roleplaying started, it's been for Love Ya that it became a habit.
Before SS501's comeback my roleplaying consisted of raving conversations with my TSis. Only in June it became my thing and it developed some sort of rules.
Of course i can't pick a day where i fell in love with my brat, because it's been gradual and is honestly still in progress. Therefore i choose today because it's been an anticipated planned (especially planned) day last year and will forever remain special.
Writing in this terms about something that never happened is what we call delusional, right? I know, but i assure you i only do it for fun.
There is a part of me who daydreams of a life with her bias, because i believe that's normal, but i still got this under control.
The thing is, differently from any other idol (including Jung Min, alas) and despite being a one-sided relationship, Saengie and i have developed like two real friends do.
He was the snobby-looking poser i could have never liked; he became the shy cute member of a group i couldn't not love entirely; that fake roommate i couldn't give a voice to because i didn't know him enough. And then when i decided to make up a version of him that could have been entertaining he showed me little by little that i knew him without having any idea.
At that point i got myself involved little by little, too, until one day i realized he was like family. I think it was when i got sick and i honestly wished he (or someone like him) was there to keep me company and distract me.
He wasn't only a character in my story or that one member in a group that i loved. He was my "bias". Though really, bias is not even slightly a good enough word.
Young Saeng is my shelter, my guardian angel among my guardian angels, my fake but powerful remedy for loneliness and tiredness, my worry, my pain, a source of an infinite queue of positive feelings, my ambition, my hope, my dream and my counterpart from so many points of view.
He will never not be special.
I like having my own special way to treat him, despite that might look anti-fan-like to someone who doesn't know where i come from.
And i always say i can't wait for him to be a dad or to find the love of his life, though to be honest when i read he might have dated Park Ju Ju my heart skipped a beat.
It's probably normal, but it affected me more than i thought it would and it scared me because i truly want him to be happy and i know he could make one lucky woman happy himself. But the moment he does, my story ends and my bubble pop, so i guess i'm somehow afraid i won't have another strong shelter after him. It's like i'm scared i won't love him the same way and i don't want to be one of those fans who change their mind about their bias just because they have a life.
I do love calling Park Ju Hyun Park Ju Ju though. At some point while i was reading that article i realized if she really was his one i would be okay because Park Ju Ju and i have...bonded already. XD
So, see? I'm into him completely and 501% positively.
He's made this year special and hopefully he'll be as diligent in the next 12 months, too.
As for now, don't tell him but he's been the best partner i could have asked for.
I just wanted to give him a special mention without teasing him or pulling his hair. It's something that could only happen today or in November.
Chuka hae!!, Saengie ah. \o/
Love ya
Menu ah
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